Awkward Moments Number 1: Sure I Have Kids...So What?

An attractive woman walks into our lobby daily. Make that plural. Attractive women post up at our hotel on a constant basis. That happens at a beach-side hotel. A whole slew of bars are just a few miles away for the younger gaggle of girls and our low-prices are prime for a mom's getaway.

None of this affects me of course because I look like Paul Giamatti uglier cousin. Bikini clad women with solid tans tend to look elsewhere.

Yet, every once in a while I do get a stray look of intrigue from a middle aged woman that let her weight go a little astray. But even then that occurrence remains a rarity. I am here to check chicks in, not fulfill spring break dreams.

Now, with that being said, Ms. Cleary had other ideas this past weekend. She parked her blue family style Chevy Tahoe, got out slowly, revealing a beach ready physique while wearing a black two-piece bikini. Her kids, a 6-year-old girl, 9-year-old son and two teen girl somewhere between 15 and 16, exited the car as well and they all walked casually to my front office. Ms. Cleary's appearance did not match-up with her motherly status. Which in essence made her that much more attractive.

Ms. Cleary: Here to check-in for Cleary. One room, three beds, I think.

Me: Yep. Got you right here. Let's get you guys check-in shall we.

Ms. Cleary: Sure.

She was nice. Her kids were nice. Everything was generally normal. Sure, her, eh-hem, juggos were joggling out of her bathing-suit top, but again, that happens at our type of hotel.

At the end of checking her in, I wrapped up a little info session about our area with my usual last question.

Me: Do have any other questions?

Ms. Cleary: No.

Me: OK. Well, if you need anything else, let me know.

Ms. Cleary: I do actually. Where can you and I hang out later?

Her voice paralyzed me. Her smirk curled my toes. Her eyes peered over with no sign of joking. In that very moment, ten long seconds elapsed with no noise. No response. No answer to this simple question. BUT, what the hell is there to say to that question!? Her kids were standing there! Her juggos were joggling. I was at work. Shit, I was shocked!

Then, her 9-year-old son giggled and looked at me like, "your blowing it dude!"

So, I finally stumbled a response but immediately regretted it.

Me: Uhhh, yea, uhh sure. Whatever works.

She let out a fake chuckle and ushered the whole family out of the office.

Even as I write this I am still confused as to how I should have handled that utterly awkward situation.

-Topher