Rule number 74: I Am “They.” I Promise

At times, my front desk can feel like a used car lot. Even though our price is set, it seems an underbelly of hagglers has designated The Sketch Hotel as a prime-time price negotiation location. I even think that people will drive to our hotel from two hours out in search of a10-dollar discount. If they don’t get it, they drive home (nuts).

And you know what, sure, I accept these interactions. It’s apart of the biz. But, if I may, will give you a hint when it comes to snagging that all-important discount.

Please, don’t ever use the word “They.”

Example:

Me- “Hello. How can I help you today?”

Guest- “I need a room. One bed, as cheap as you got.”

Me- “Sure. Let’s see what we have available.”

I then give them a very reasonable price for a room with a queen bed in a quiet area. I’m being nice. That is my job. Smile and help people that can’t sleep in their own bed for a night or two. But even as I sweat kindness, I get this response.

Guest- “Well, they usually give me a better price. I’m a regular guest.”

Oh really. You are a regular guest huh? Well, excuse me while I lift my hand to my forehead and faint at your feet ohh illustrious “regular guest.”

In the words of my drunk uncle, “Kiss my rosy-red….” You can finish the rest.

Who is “they?” I am they. I live and work here with one other dude. And trust me, what Burt knows, I know. Implying that some superior entity dishes out the “hook-up” is insulting. I immediately know that you are attempting to take advantage of me. And now that I know this, guess what happens oh illustrious guest? You get put on the mental no-discount list. Congrats...You have just managed to weasel your way OUT of a discount. Then again--hmm--if I don’t give you the discount “they” gave, I potentially lose out on selling the room.

(sigh)

See, used car lot.